This picture was taken in my home. It represents a foundry: a foundry of emotions that I have been collecting. I am doing well. I am not being mild hearted or anything. Just intent. I feel a little bit of contentment. In 2012, I tried to take my own life. It was one of the most strenuating situations to illiviate, and am doing so. I feel a little dishearted, but coping. 

On September 11th, 2001, terrorists attacked our country, the United States of America. It is the worst terrorist attack that ever happened in the history of America. I went to Saint John's Preparatory School, in Danvers, where I studied the Xaverian Brother way. It was the beginning of my sophomore year when that happened. I thought that it may have been Saudi involvement. That's it. I still remember that day, as vividly as I remember. That day should never have happened.

On this day, I feel a little alleviated. I feel as though I have been lifting up a lever: I only let it down a little bit, but everyday I lift it up and it goes higher every time. I read the news every morning... but I refrain from watching it. When I left McLean Hospital in 2016, I was watching the news for a short time, but there was a lot of stigma towards mentally ill people then. Now, I don't watch it at all. 

I am excited about the Olympics. I look forward to watching them. I feel like this country should be more centered on people that are impoverished, or may have been impoverished their whole life. This has nothing to do with giving. It has to do with solidarity: if you include someone of a place that he may have been impoverished or downtrodden, or poor, maybe there would be something there you never knew.

This afternoon, I had a thought. I had a thought that has been on my mind every now and then. What is worse, homelessness, or mental illness. I have lived through a little homelessness in my life, but I've lived through a lot of mental illness. Homeless people suffer without a home. If they suffer without a home, they may lack experiences that may give them essential grounding in life. In this case, they may resolve to drug use, amongst other things. These people should be built a home. There are programs like "Habitat for Humanity" that cater to things like this.

Mental illness is one of the most intrinsic, and undenialably resolutely painful things I have ever suffered from in my entire life. These problems come from somewhere. In 2010, like I said in an earlier post, I was fired from my job. I almost lost my home. I suffered because the undue stresses of life presented themselves in an undeniable fashion, and I could do to feed myself was to smoke a pack of cigarettes. Meanwhile, I went to about 1 to 2 interviews a week. I'm talking about business interviews, with a suit and everything. I didn't get a single job, and must have been to about 25 in 7 months. This includes gas costs. This is why this situation presents itself: why mental illness, and why homelessness. 

To this day, I think I've smoked about 4500 cigarettes since that day. Homeless people may not only suffer without a home, but they may suffer from the lack of nutrients needed to live a healthy, productive life. In mental illness, it's almost the same. Can't find a job when you need one because they consider you impaired. Can't afford a home, or food on the table. Homeless people probably can't even get healthcare to treat things like mental illness. But, if you've been paying into the system like I have since I was 14 years old working a wage job, then maybe you can.

A little ridiculous, don't you think. Now, my synopisis is that this place is getting more wealthy by the bits, and there are still people suffering... and more than likely suffering more than ever. Hopefully we just don't promote the growth of wealthy leaders everyday. Pick up a homeless man, and give him a job. Help pick up a mentally ill man from the cornerstones of life, and aid him in finding prosperity. Things like that resonate with me.

Before I got my home, I was at a respite house for a few months. I was left with people in certain situations then me. I'd find myself talking to them, maybe having a few cigarettes. We all shared food. Now I have a home. Now I am self employed, and now I have food on my table.

In conclusion, if we give all people the same respect, no matter who they are, maybe we can not solve the "problem"... maybe we can take a giant leap for humankind and heal a lonely heart, or a wounded man on the streets, or even a mentally ill person that is of that nature for no fault of there own. It is these things that matter. This is not about solving a problem... these people are not the problems, but more than likely the problem is the people trying to heal these people and call them problems... I can reside that I don't know which one is worse, but I know we can fix it.

I took this picture outside today. There is still snow on the ground. I am a little droopy, but the truth is that I am sad. On Thursday, one of my friends passed away. His name was Thomas. I don't know much about him, but that I was in his presence once. We attended St. John's Prep together. In grievence, I know that he is in a better place.

I stand before you perservent in nature, and at-attuned, knowing that discourse in this country still exists. I have a family. I am slowing healing from things that I have going on. God always seems to throw me one, HA. I know that I have two albums out on my website. Check them out. They actually took me a long time to produce. The first one, "The Adventurer EP" was produced at "home", my moms. The second one, "The Adventurer Respite" was produced at a respite house. I am playing them for free. I know I will have more coming your way, but probably of no charge.

I, here, as a traveler, plan on traveling the lands of this place passing a message of good. 

About 4 days ago, I took this picture. It was outside, after the snow storm. Now I am sitting in my apartment home, at 7:33pm. I had a moment today. I have been figuring out life for the while, but beating mental illness is my priority, and I take it very seriously. I was watching the media. It was more of an artistic viewpoint than anything else, in the most interior of aspects. And I had a moment. It was more of a sudden realization, but more elastic than an epiphany. It was beautiful. It felt like justice. It was social justice for me. I have been looking for answers for 9/11 for years. 24 to be exact. I have had visions, realizations, and looked at the facts

Now, I don't know that I will have a moment like that again. It's important to be vigilant. Journalist James Foley lost his life to an execution. I almost lost my life to a suicide attempt. And I have suffered.

I will stay positive.

It's a month away from my birthday. I worked on this political campaign once. I was very simple: I'm just here to work. Now I feel exploited. I've volunteered once or twice on other campaigns, and this one, I started as a volunteer. I feel like they exploited me when I was "standing out" for this guy. And in it, I felt like it was the politics of one of my essays; an essay that I never wrote. But I never wrote it. I kept working simply and aware. There may have been a media presence too. But, in my head I knew, that I was strong, and I was doing the right thing. There were a couple of people there, political people, and prominent people too. I kept it all in my head. I was standing  up, for MY cause, and in it, for who I was as a person. 

I feel like this country is throwing good presidencies away for bad ones, and, good people away for politics. At this time, it just can't be done. People want to kill: they want to take down leaders around the world, call people bad. They say that "America" is a force for good. I believe that America is just, but it has to be proven. 9/11 didn't prove anything. It was the killing of innocents. Leaders stand up for this country all the time, but I swear, it's at the good graces of a politician. A journalist like James Foley got executed, and I survived what was one of the most compliated debocles I have ever faced in my entire life. People are dying. But, people are standing up too. This world has to come together to embrace each other.

World peace is a dream. People have the right to meet their leaders, not just they're representatives. People have the right to meet they're world leaders too, as if it were true - that we fight in these wars to free other people, to save other's from persecution, and genocide. We have the right to not necessarily be representated, but to sustain a roof over our head and food on the table. And, to keep trust. For, if trust is broken, then we are an elisium. And, it happens all the time.

I would like to see OUR leaders come together to create common brinksmanship, not just a political purpose. And in it, maybe we can have peace. I have stood up my whole life for peace, and world peace. I have even stood up for it. But in it you get the realm of nothing, and even being in a health care system getting help; for something that you stood for once: you get that euphoria in the air that says it just can't be done. Well, I hope that world peace can be achieved.

Today, I had the privelege of taking my mom out to lunch. When I got back, I thought about my college experience, and how beneficial it was to attend. I studied business, but was formerly an engineering major. My first semester in college was spent in a dorm room at the University of New Hampshire. I didn't do much. I never ate much, and I never attended class. I spent most of my time being philosophical, interacting with people, and navigating the roads. My GPA was very low. When I left, I spent my next semester or two at Middlesex Community College in Bedford, Massachusetts. I studied liberal arts. When I got my GPA up, I transfered to the University of Massachusetts, Lowell, as a commuter student. It is very industrial there. In my business studies, I studied various courses, such as Statistics, Organizational Behavior, Marketing, and Operations Analysis. A couple years into my studies, I got an internship at Putnam Investments. I worked there for 3 years. I loved my classes, but still didn't go much. I remember that I would buy the older editions of books to save some money. My big job out of college was Partners HealthCare. I worked there for 10 months. 

In conclusion to my studies, I think the best things that I have learned are things more contemporary.

This was taken a year or so ago. It represents me with a little clarity. I have just remastered my music. Both the one from 2020, and the new one from 2026. Check them out.

I've added a travel page. It's where I've been my whole life. Check it out. 

Last night, at 6:00 pm, I attended at Yoga group at the Woburn Public Library. It was a good group. It was strenuous, and mentally cultivating. I hope to go to more groups.

I am thinking about signing up for a couple "Open Mic" nights this year. In it, I hope to sing a couple of songs from my albums. 

I will be composing new music; and creating a more orchestral group of songs, from my home. 

Lastly, in 2012, I tried to take my own life. It was a feeling I can't describe. I survived. I am still healing to this day. 

Today, I took my camera with me, and walked to the Woburn Library. I had to use a computer, but it wouldn't let me use it for what I needed it for. When I was outside, on my walk home, I spent some times starring at the sky, and looking out. Sometimes, I'd see a bird or two. But, I followed this one, and took a picture of it. I'm not sure what kind of bird it is, but notice the wing span, and the detail of the image my picture captured. It wasn't a very sunny day out there; it was a bit cloudy. When I take pictures of nature, I wonder what nature is thinking sometimes... when they look into the lense of the camera. Sometimes, I don't think it's right, but when it's relevant, and they realize what is going on, I'll capture a picture. It's one of the nicest pictures I have ever taken.

Today is March 31st, 2026. It is only two days away from my birthday. I am feeling okay. I am recovering; from alot of things. I can see light. It has always been there: it has always been a spherical presence in my body - And, I've made it through. I can remember anything. On Sunday, I meditated with the Glenn Meadow Zen Center in Lexington. It is right down the street from the Respite that I stayed at. I got there, on time, miraculously, for 9:00am. It was a couple of hours. There were some wonderful people there. I could tell by there presence upon entering. And, when I did, I got to pray in a meditation that I have been doing my whole life, and in a way that is articulate of the Xaverian Brother way, in "Zen Buddhism". 

Getting through it, which I did, I learned alot about myself. I'll be 40, on April 2nd. I am getting old, and that is supposedly "over the hill". I feel like I have been starring at a wall for 40 years. There is a buddhist monk that did that once, starring at a wall for 40 years. I usually spend at least 15 minutes of my day in prayer, praying for people that I care about...sometimes less. I do. 

Easter is right around the corner. I remember, years ago, in 2008, I got to spend sometime with my dad. It was, long lost time. It was for easter. He sat me down at his table, in April, and we had a ham. During this feast, he talked to me a little about his life... only detail, because I already knew him once. But, in detail, I got to know him a little more. We enjoyed ourselves. We even got to have a little fun. 

He passed away in 2015. He will be missed. 

Moving forward, I hope to reclaim what was lost, if there is anything. I am getting better, but I may not be better to my fullest extent. Years ago, in the year 2000, I had a biopsy on my thyroid. I suffer from "thyroiditis", or "hypothyroidism". It was the next year that 9/11 happened. In mediation, I have succeeded. My actions were always there. My energy was always there. And my spirit. It is something that I don't know I can recover from. I have however, lowered the symptoms of my mental illness, "schizophrenia". 

In tandem, the two mess with each other. But at the end of the day, there is really only one, ME.

I hope to recollect my thoughts and move forward, in a kind, compassionate, and gentle way. 

"When duty whispers low, thou must, the youth replies, I can". - Emerson

Today is April 7th, 2026. Sunday was Easter, and a few days before that was my birthday. Last year, I put together this lego set. It is a replica of "The Fast and the Furious" Toyota Supra that Paul Walker drives. It took me 6 hours to build. It represents where I am going

I have been traveling all my life. My former car, my 2004 Mazda RX8 was the funnest car I have ever driven. Now, I own a 2004 Honda Accord EX. It has 184,000 miles on it. I am probably going to make it maintenance free, you know, get some new brakes, and a few other things. 

I was at the New England Dragway a few years ago. I actually went to race my RX8, but it didn't pass inspection. I ended up watching a couple of the races. It's pretty intense: 1/4 mile. 

I've been around, but now, I live in Woburn, Massachusetts. I usually walk from place to place.